This will be my last entry for quite some time here till I figure out what I am to do with myself.

Everytime I push somebody away that is not because I think they are not worth it (I do not spend time on such people to begin with) but quite opposite... I think I am not worth their time. so there I would think that I can change and be better, cooler, smarter, funnier etc to reach their level... and most of the time I fail and by the time I realise it, it's already too late.
But then again - is it just an excuse?..

Therefore thank you all who put up with my temepr so far, and I am sorry to those who can not stand it any longer...
nevertheless...

All the best to you all!